Para mí como coach es honestamente una lucha interna, por que mi lado emocional/honesto me dice, si te molesta apártate o hazlo saber!, y mi lado empático/coach me dice: vámos dale una segunda oportunidad, puede que esté en un mal momento.
Cuando "ya tienes lo que necesitas del mundo" y simplemente estas "pasando el rato"; es fácil tomar la opción emocional de mandar al mundo al "carajo" y apartarte de lo que te molesta, rodearte de gente que piense tal como tú lo haces, leer libros y artículos que refuercen tus ideologías, en fin, nunca confrontar, o por lo menos no buscarlo, y por "ya tienes lo que necesitas del mundo" me refiero a que crees que tienes lo que necesitas del mundo, es decir, no necesitas probarle nada a nadie, ni necesitas caer bien, ni entrar a un círculo social nuevo, etc. Sin embargo, es una creencia, pues es una posición de comodidad, si, si nuevamente sale al tema: es TU ZONA DE CONFORT, y si recordamos, dentro de esta zona no hay gran crecimiento ni gran evolución, es un status que poco a poco se hace más pequeño (eventualmente tendrás que salir de el, así lo decidas o no), pues la naturaleza de nuestro ser es crecer.
Entonces, me autocoacheo (si ya lo sé, a veces puede ser agotador jajaja), y me cuestiono, qué sucede? soy yo? o es esta o aquella persona?, para empezar no siempre tiene que haber culpables, pero es inherente al ser humano buscarlos (luego me aviento una investigación en ese sentido) y encontrarlos, y siendo muy honestos: normalmente el mundo (fuera de nosotros) tiene la culpa. Siguiendo el autocoaching, llego a pensar en qué cosas generadas por mí provocan estos molestos momentos, por que recordemos una de las bases del coaching es entender cómo yo puedo provocar cambios en las situaciones a las que me enfrento trabajando desde mis propios recursos; y es ahí donde recuerdo la frase, que honestamente siempre me ha costado trabajo entender: LO QUE TE CHOCA TE CHECA.
.jpg)
Llego a esta frase por que le busco por todos lados: yo no estoy provocando que la gente sea de tal o cual forma, lo que controlo es mi reacción ante ello, entonces mi reacción tiene una historia detrás: REALMENTE ME MOLESTA CUANDO LA GENTE ES TAN EGOÍSTA Y SÓLO PIENSA EN SÍ MISMA, y de dónde viene esta historia?, cuándo me la conté?, en qué se basa mi gran enojo hacia eso?, y a mí que? si la gente es o no egoísta, al final es un tema muy personal, o no?
Es entonces cuando me doy cuenta que realmente el problema reside en mi reacción y en las emociones que genera para mí el estar con alguien que sólo habla de sí mismo, y la historia detrás de eso es que cuando alguien que sólo habla de sí mismo, pareciera que no me toma en cuenta a mí, y si eso que me molesta es algo que yo también hago, entonces comienzo a analizarme si tal ves hablo de mí demasiado?. Hey y se vale, por que para eso existen los espejos, para ver lo que nos gusta y lo que NO nos gusta. Y para qué verlo? pues para hacer algo al respecto, cierto?.
Por otro lado, algunas religiones también hablan de este tema, por ejemplo el judaísmo con el Kabalah asegura que nuestras imperfecciones se ven reflejadas en nuestro entorno, y que hasta que deje de existir una clara definición entre el entorno y tu mismo (es decir que te sientas parte de todo, y por lo tanto no lo juzgues) no llegaras a la perfección. En general la mayoría de las religiones nos enfrentan a tratar al prójimo como a uno mismo, etc., pues aseguran, somos uno mismo. Sin embargo el proceso de dejar de juzgar a nuestro entorno se debe convertir en algo más allá que tratar a todos bien, por miedo a recibir el mismo mal trato, sino con el enfoque de sencillez que la mayoría de religiones profesa e inculca, para aprender de nuestro entorno a vernos a nosotros mismos y a crecer.
Hay una serie de ejercicios que propone la autora Byron Katie en su libro "Loving what is", son una serie de preguntas de autoanálisis de las situaciones y personas (específicamente personas) que nos molestan más, comienza con la pregunta: "Es eso verdad?", y termina por darle la vuelta a la situación y buscar cómo encajaría en tu realidad si ese quien genera la situación que te molesta, fueras TÚ MISMO. Es justo ese ejercicio el que nos revela cómo la historia que nos contamos al respecto de cualquier situación que enfrentamos es la que nos hace tomar tal o cual reacción, y ojo, provoca exactamente el resultado que andamos buscando.
Hay una serie de ejercicios que propone la autora Byron Katie en su libro "Loving what is", son una serie de preguntas de autoanálisis de las situaciones y personas (específicamente personas) que nos molestan más, comienza con la pregunta: "Es eso verdad?", y termina por darle la vuelta a la situación y buscar cómo encajaría en tu realidad si ese quien genera la situación que te molesta, fueras TÚ MISMO. Es justo ese ejercicio el que nos revela cómo la historia que nos contamos al respecto de cualquier situación que enfrentamos es la que nos hace tomar tal o cual reacción, y ojo, provoca exactamente el resultado que andamos buscando.
Con gusto les doy un ejemplo: A quien no le choca el vecino que hace ruido excesivo, fuma (si vives en depa y NO FUMAS), o tiene el molesto perro que ladra todo el día (y la noche). Saludas a ese vecino?, Si es que lo saludas seguramente es con una cara de ME CHOCA TU ACTITUD DE MAL VECINO, ACASO NO TIENES SENTIDO COMÚN?, y por supuesto esa actitud tuya genera que el querido vecino ni se moleste en saludarte, o te salude con una cara igual o peor, y que crees? pues que ahora con todo el gusto del mundo hace que su perro ladre, le sube a la música y fuma un cigarrillo de más, SÓLO PARA MOLESTAR a ese vecino que saluda con cara de POCOS AMIGOS(osea tú), y así ya todo tiene sentido, para tí y para él (lograste el resultado que buscabas: un vecino que hace cosas para molestarte)
Una de las preguntas que plantea Byron Katie, es la de: Encuentras alguna razón que no genere estress para actuar de esa manera, o creerte esa historia?, lo que hace esta pregunta es impresionante: Hace que seas objetivo en una situación en la que sólo estas actuando desde las emociones. Cuando somos objetivos nos damos cuenta que estamos reaccionando con la "panza", ODIAMOS AL VECINO POR QUE PENSAMOS QUE LO HACE POR MOLESTAR, POR QUE NO ESTA AL PENDIENTE DE SI MOLESTA O NO A SU ALREDEDOR, es eso cierto?, de verdad es cierto eso?, estamos absolutamente seguros de ello? la respuesta a esto es siempre NO!. Por el simple hecho de que no vivimos dentro de la cabeza del otro, no sabemos su situación y nunca podríamos decir con 100% de seguridad que es lo que motiva que actúe de tal o cual manera, es una historia que nos contamos, y nos la creemos, hasta en conjunto, por que lo reforzamos comentándolo con otros vecinos y todos estamos de acuerdo: EL VECINO ES UN INCONSCIENTE, y nos auto reforzamos la historia de que sabemos las razones por las cuales hace ruido excesivo, fuma o deja que su perro ladre sin cesar.
Si buscas por una razón que no te genere estress para creer que tu ruidoso vecino fumador te quiere molestar siempre, nunca encontrarías una, pues el puro enunciado es estresante. Ahora tratemos de liberarnos de ese estress: Quién sería yo sin ese pensamiento? Bueno, para empezar dejaría de buscar colillas de cigarros para tomarles fotos y llevarlas a la próxima junta vecinal, de hecho trataría de ser amigable con el perro (y seguramente me daría cuenta cuan lindo es), y más que nada: sería capaz de invitar a mi vecino a casa para conocerlo, tal ves hablarle de las cosas que me molestan (o tal ves no, y con el simple hecho de conocernos, una de dos: o el le baja a su ruido o ami me deja de importar tanto pues ya lo conozco y sé que sólo se quiere divertir)
Si buscas por una razón que no te genere estress para creer que tu ruidoso vecino fumador te quiere molestar siempre, nunca encontrarías una, pues el puro enunciado es estresante. Ahora tratemos de liberarnos de ese estress: Quién sería yo sin ese pensamiento? Bueno, para empezar dejaría de buscar colillas de cigarros para tomarles fotos y llevarlas a la próxima junta vecinal, de hecho trataría de ser amigable con el perro (y seguramente me daría cuenta cuan lindo es), y más que nada: sería capaz de invitar a mi vecino a casa para conocerlo, tal ves hablarle de las cosas que me molestan (o tal ves no, y con el simple hecho de conocernos, una de dos: o el le baja a su ruido o ami me deja de importar tanto pues ya lo conozco y sé que sólo se quiere divertir)
Esto es un tema fuerte, estoy hablando de ROMPER UN HÁBITO que es altamente reforzado en la sociedad: aceptado y hasta aplaudido, el HÁBITO DE ENCONTRAR CULPABLES fuera de tí mismo. Pero si les dijera que la raíz de todo nuestro sufrimiento viene de ese CABALLO DE TROYA que tenemos como EL HÁBITO DE CULPAR AL EXTERIOR. Se muestra como un gran regalo: Tú no eres el culpable de esta situación que tanto te molesta, lo es el de enfrente! y a sufrir se ha dicho: TRATANDO DE CAMBIAR AL MUNDO (tarea que sabemos es imposible)
.jpg)
A esto me enfrento cuando me hago tantas preguntas, pero al final llego a buenas conclusiones, y son las mismas a las que muchos otros autores han llegado. Si queremos cambiar el mundo EMPECEMOS POR NOSOTROS. Pero honestamente no había entendido la implicación que tenía esto, no es sólo trabajar en mí para ser mejor persona, bla bla bla, si no aprender a verme en esos INCÓMODOS espejos que me muestran mis VICIOS, mis PUNTOS DÉBILES y que, siendo bien optimista (me gusta ser así) me dan la gran oportunidad de cambiar, de enfocar mis energías en lo que realmente debo.
Es sólo una idea pero, se me ocurre un experimento:
1. Pensar en que es lo que me MOLESTA de manera excesiva (incluso hasta ponerle calificación), del mundo y de las personas que me rodean. Escribirlo en varias frases, ejemplo: Me molesta que el GOBIERNO sea tan ignorante de las verdaderas necesidades de mi país.
2. Darle la vuelta, e identificar cómo yo encajaría en la frase, es decir: Me molesta que YO sea tan ignorante de las verdaderas necesidades del país.
3. Analizar si puedo hacer algo al respecto, ACCION, ACCION Y MÁS ACCIÓN, si tanto me molesta entonces alimentar mi motivación en ese gran enojo que me genera que nadie preste atención a los niños pobres de mi país (ahí debo tener claro a que me refiero cuando digo verdaderas necesidades de mi país, cuáles son?, hay que ser específicos!)
4. Hacerlo
Recordemos, los recursos con los que contamos son los que nosotros podemos generar, piensen cómo gente con ideales ha cambiado la historia, y esto es si tenemos sueños de gran alcance como salvar de la pobreza a los niños de mi país, estado, etc. Pero, hombre, no vayamos lejos:
.jpg)
ME MOLESTA QUE MI ESPOSO NO LAVE SUS PLATOS
ME MOLESTA QUE YO NO LAVE MIS PLATOS
LAVO MIS PLATOS Y DEJO DE MOLESTARME POR LO QUE OTROS HACEN O DEJAN DE HACER!!
GENERO CAMBIOS: tal ves mi esposo al no sentirse regañado y acosado por mí, y ver que yo lavo mis platos, tal ves y sólo tal ves: EL LO HAGA TAMBIÉN, pero el fin no es ese, el fin es que yo no me estrese cada ves que cenamos por que me retuerce ver como se levanta de la mesa sin si quiera levantar y lavar su plato. La historia que me cuento hace que yo reaccione y sufra. Cambiemos esa historia, centrémonos en nuestros asuntos y aprendamos a ver a través de los MARAVILLOSOS Y MOLESTOS espejos que la vida nos pone al rededor.
Cambiemos el mundo una frase a la ves, yo por lo pronto comienzo mi trabajo de ser tan egoísta y dejar que me molesten las conversaciones de esto aquello, y más bien me concentraré en disfrutar de la compañía de la gente que me rodea ...ya les contaré cómo me va.
Qué piensan? Esta ves si intensee, pero de verdad que le dí vueltas al tema, esta fué mi mejor conclusión, y creo que valió la pena. Comparte: cuál es tu gran tarea (que es lo que más te molesta del mundo)?
////
Something has been happening to me lately: There are things people surrounding me do, that I just cannot take, I mean, from the absurd comments that annoys to the "everything this person does is so irritating" moments, have you been there?
For me, as a coach, it is an internal fight honestly, because my emotional/honest side keeps on telling me to go away or do show your feelings!, while my emphatic/coach side tells me to slow down and give them a second chance, for they could be going trough a tough moment.
When "everything you need from the world" is already in your hands, it is easy to take the emotional decision of telling the world to go ..... and just step out of what is bothering you, get yourself surrounded by people who has the same ideas, read books and articles that reinforce your ideology, etc. Never confronting, or at least not looking to confront, and by having "everything you need from the world" what I mean is that you think you have it, meaning that you don´t need to prove nothing, to get along, or enter certain new social circle. Yet, this is a belief, for this is a confortable place to be in. Yes in deed, once again we ended up talking about the CONFORT ZONE, and if we remember well, inside of it there is not much growth or evolution, it is an status that little by little gets smaller (eventually you will get out, wether you decide it or not), because we cannot fight our nature: to grow.
This is when I realize that the real problem resides in my reaction and the emotions that it creates in me the situation of being with someone that is just talking about himself, and the stoy behind that is that it would seem that I dont matter at all, and what if that is something that I also do to the people I relate to?, do I talk to much (not minding the people around)?, and that is the reason mirrors exist, to see what we DO like about ourselves, and also what we DON´T. And with what purpouse?, well to do something about it, right?
There is a series of questioning excercises that writer Byron Katie suggests in her "Loving what is" book, they explore how we create stories behind situations and people who bothers us the most, starting to question if this story "is it entirely true?", ending up in a turnaround of the situation and an analysis of how it fits in our reality, if the subject creating that disturbing situation where YOURSELF. And I loved the excercise because it leads you directly to discover that story behind this upsetting situation you are telling yourself, and which is justifying your crappy reactions, and beware, it causes the very same results we have been expecting.
What do you think? This time I was intense!, but this subject was worth it! Share: what is your great task (what bothers you the most)?
Something has been happening to me lately: There are things people surrounding me do, that I just cannot take, I mean, from the absurd comments that annoys to the "everything this person does is so irritating" moments, have you been there?
For me, as a coach, it is an internal fight honestly, because my emotional/honest side keeps on telling me to go away or do show your feelings!, while my emphatic/coach side tells me to slow down and give them a second chance, for they could be going trough a tough moment.
When "everything you need from the world" is already in your hands, it is easy to take the emotional decision of telling the world to go ..... and just step out of what is bothering you, get yourself surrounded by people who has the same ideas, read books and articles that reinforce your ideology, etc. Never confronting, or at least not looking to confront, and by having "everything you need from the world" what I mean is that you think you have it, meaning that you don´t need to prove nothing, to get along, or enter certain new social circle. Yet, this is a belief, for this is a confortable place to be in. Yes in deed, once again we ended up talking about the CONFORT ZONE, and if we remember well, inside of it there is not much growth or evolution, it is an status that little by little gets smaller (eventually you will get out, wether you decide it or not), because we cannot fight our nature: to grow.
This is when I begin my selfcoaching (yeah I know, it can be exahusting sometimes), and I question my self: what is wrong?, is it me? or is it him or her? (why are we allways looking fo a responsible?, but let´s leave that theme to another investigative article), and when we do this exercice (finding responsibles), let´s be honest: the guilt is allways on the world outside of me. And following with the autocoaching, I then start lookning for the reasons within me that provoque this upseting moments, because, let´s remember that one of the basis of coaching is understanding how can I create changes in the situations that I am facing working from my own resources; and it is there when I remember the phrase, a phrase that I have allways had trouble understanding: WHAT BOTHERS YOU MOST, IS WHAT RESEMBLES YOU THE MOST.
And I end up with that in my mind because I´m looking everywhere: I´m not inducing people to be this or that way, what is really in my hands is my reaction to it, then my reaction has a story behind: IT REALLY BOTHERS ME WHEN PEOPLE ACTS SO SELFISHLY THAT THEY CAN ONLY THINK AND TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES, where does that story comes from?, when did I tell it to myself?, why am I angry at that?, and what do I care anyway if that is such a personal issue, isn´t it?
And I end up with that in my mind because I´m looking everywhere: I´m not inducing people to be this or that way, what is really in my hands is my reaction to it, then my reaction has a story behind: IT REALLY BOTHERS ME WHEN PEOPLE ACTS SO SELFISHLY THAT THEY CAN ONLY THINK AND TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES, where does that story comes from?, when did I tell it to myself?, why am I angry at that?, and what do I care anyway if that is such a personal issue, isn´t it?
This is when I realize that the real problem resides in my reaction and the emotions that it creates in me the situation of being with someone that is just talking about himself, and the stoy behind that is that it would seem that I dont matter at all, and what if that is something that I also do to the people I relate to?, do I talk to much (not minding the people around)?, and that is the reason mirrors exist, to see what we DO like about ourselves, and also what we DON´T. And with what purpouse?, well to do something about it, right?
On the other hand, some religions talk about this subject, for instance judaism with the Kabbalah says that our imperfections are refclected in our world, and until a separation between the internal and the external no longer exists (it means that while you don´t feel part of the environment so deeply so you don´t judge it) we will not get to perfection . In general, most religions teaches us to treat our "brothers" as you treat yourself, for we are the same self. Yet the no judging process must go deeper than a fear of being treated the same way, but with an aproach that most religions practise and inculcate: humility, to learn from our envirnonment to see ourselves and to grow
There is a series of questioning excercises that writer Byron Katie suggests in her "Loving what is" book, they explore how we create stories behind situations and people who bothers us the most, starting to question if this story "is it entirely true?", ending up in a turnaround of the situation and an analysis of how it fits in our reality, if the subject creating that disturbing situation where YOURSELF. And I loved the excercise because it leads you directly to discover that story behind this upsetting situation you are telling yourself, and which is justifying your crappy reactions, and beware, it causes the very same results we have been expecting.
I´ll gladly give you and example: Who doesn´t hate this neighboor who is constantly making noise, smokes (if you live in an apartment and you don´t), ot has a noisy dog barking al day long (and also all night). Do you greet this neighboor?, if you do, you probably do it with a face that says: I HATE YOUR MANNERS AS A NEIGHBOOR, HAVE YOU NO COMMON SENSE?, and of course this face of yours makes your lovely neighboor not even bother in greeting you back, or doing it with the same or even a worst look on his face. And guess what?, well he is now going to make his dog bark even louder, or smoke one more cigarrete closer to your window, JUST TO MAKE THIS UNFRIENDLY FACED NEIGHBOOR MAD, and this is when it all makes sense for both of you (you achieved the exact result you were looking for: a bad neighboor that drives you mad)
One of the questions Byron Katie sets out, is: Can you find any stress free reason to act that way, or believe that story? What this question does is impressive: It forces you to be objective in a situation where you are acting out of emotions. When we are being objective, we realize where our reactions are really coming from, WE HATE OUR NEIGHBOOR BECAUSE WE THINK HE/SHE IS DOING IT TO BOTHER US, BECAUSE HE/SHE IS NOT AWARE OF HIS/HER ENVIRONMENT. Is that true?, Is that absolutely true?, are we a 100% certain of that? the answer to this is allways a big NO!. Because we don´t live in our neighboor´s head, we don´t know what they´re going trough and we will never be able to say with a 100% certainity what motivates them to act this or that way, it is simply a story we tell ourselves, and we buy it, even as a group, because we reinforce our story sharing it with as much people as we can (the neighborhood), and we all agree: HE/ SHE IS A VERY VERY BAD NEIGHBOOR.
If you look for a strees free reason to believe that your noisy smoker neighboor does it to bother you, you wouldn´t find any, because the very statement is stressfull, and then let´s try to free orselves from that stress: who would you be without that tought?, well I wouldn´t be looking around for fag-ends to take pictures and bring them to the next neighborhood meeting, I would in fact try to be nice to my neighboor´s dog (and maybe find out that is actually a nice dog), and most of all I would be able to invite this neigboor over some time and meet him/her (and find out who he/she is) and talk about the things that bother me (or maybe not, just with simply being friendly : or he tries to keep it down or I just don´t care that much because I now know that he/she is just a party friendly guy/girl)
One of the questions Byron Katie sets out, is: Can you find any stress free reason to act that way, or believe that story? What this question does is impressive: It forces you to be objective in a situation where you are acting out of emotions. When we are being objective, we realize where our reactions are really coming from, WE HATE OUR NEIGHBOOR BECAUSE WE THINK HE/SHE IS DOING IT TO BOTHER US, BECAUSE HE/SHE IS NOT AWARE OF HIS/HER ENVIRONMENT. Is that true?, Is that absolutely true?, are we a 100% certain of that? the answer to this is allways a big NO!. Because we don´t live in our neighboor´s head, we don´t know what they´re going trough and we will never be able to say with a 100% certainity what motivates them to act this or that way, it is simply a story we tell ourselves, and we buy it, even as a group, because we reinforce our story sharing it with as much people as we can (the neighborhood), and we all agree: HE/ SHE IS A VERY VERY BAD NEIGHBOOR.
If you look for a strees free reason to believe that your noisy smoker neighboor does it to bother you, you wouldn´t find any, because the very statement is stressfull, and then let´s try to free orselves from that stress: who would you be without that tought?, well I wouldn´t be looking around for fag-ends to take pictures and bring them to the next neighborhood meeting, I would in fact try to be nice to my neighboor´s dog (and maybe find out that is actually a nice dog), and most of all I would be able to invite this neigboor over some time and meet him/her (and find out who he/she is) and talk about the things that bother me (or maybe not, just with simply being friendly : or he tries to keep it down or I just don´t care that much because I now know that he/she is just a party friendly guy/girl)
This is a strong subject, I´m talking about BRAKING AN HABIT that is highly reinforced and acceped by society: THE HABIT OF BLAMING OTHERS for the problems we have. But what if I told you that this is the very root of our suffering, it rests inside this TROYAN HORSE that we have as a habit, because it looks like a precious gift: you are not guilty of this annoying situation you are going trough, the one in front of you is!. And this is when we start the suffering: WE START TRYING TO CHANGE THE WORLD (an impossible task, if you do it that way)
.jpg)
This is what I get for inquiring so much, but I love it because I allways learn something at the end, and my conclusions agree with what other authors have concluded: IF WE WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD , we have got to start from ourselves; but I honestly have never understood the hole implications of this statement, it not only means that we have to work in oursleves to be a better person, etc, etc, but to LEARN how to see my self reflected in those UNCOUMFORTABLE mirrors which show me my mistakes, weaknesses, and, being optimistic (I like being that way), they give me the immense opportunity to change, to evolve and focus my energies in what really matters.
It is just an idea, but I came up with the following experiment:
1. To think what BOTHERS me the most about the world and the people around me (If I have a huge list here I could prioritize). Write it down in a series of phrases, for example: I can´t stand the GOBERNMENT´s lack of interest and focus on the real needs of my country.
2. Turn it around, and identify how would I fit in those phrases, following the same example: I can´t stand my lack of interest and focus of my country´s real needs.
3. Analyze what can I do about it, ACTION, ACTION AND MORE ACTION, if this bothers me so much, the anger could motivate me to take action and do something about it myself.
4. DO IT
.jpg)
And let´s remember, the only resouces we have to make it happen is our own, think about how people have change the history!. And well this is for big dreamers, but let´s start from the bottom:
I CAN´T STAND MY HUSBAND NOT WASHING HIS DISHES
I CAN´T STAND THAT I DONT WASH MY OWN DISHES (even if I already do it)
SO I FOCUS ON WASHING MY OWN DISHES AND STOP GETTING ANGRY AT MY HUSBAND FOR NOT WASHING HIS
I CREATE CHANGES: maybe my husband stats washing his dishes because I´m not screaming at him, and maybe, just maybe, he realizes that washing dishes is not that bad, but that was not the point at all, the point was to stop suffering, and acting from the toughts that brought to me the fact of MY HUSBAND NOT WASHING HIS DISHES (horrible, stressful toughts). So let´s change the story, let´s focus in our business and learn trough those WONDERFUL AND ANNOYING mirrors life surrounds us.
1. To think what BOTHERS me the most about the world and the people around me (If I have a huge list here I could prioritize). Write it down in a series of phrases, for example: I can´t stand the GOBERNMENT´s lack of interest and focus on the real needs of my country.
2. Turn it around, and identify how would I fit in those phrases, following the same example: I can´t stand my lack of interest and focus of my country´s real needs.
3. Analyze what can I do about it, ACTION, ACTION AND MORE ACTION, if this bothers me so much, the anger could motivate me to take action and do something about it myself.
4. DO IT
And let´s remember, the only resouces we have to make it happen is our own, think about how people have change the history!. And well this is for big dreamers, but let´s start from the bottom:I CAN´T STAND MY HUSBAND NOT WASHING HIS DISHES
I CAN´T STAND THAT I DONT WASH MY OWN DISHES (even if I already do it)
SO I FOCUS ON WASHING MY OWN DISHES AND STOP GETTING ANGRY AT MY HUSBAND FOR NOT WASHING HIS
I CREATE CHANGES: maybe my husband stats washing his dishes because I´m not screaming at him, and maybe, just maybe, he realizes that washing dishes is not that bad, but that was not the point at all, the point was to stop suffering, and acting from the toughts that brought to me the fact of MY HUSBAND NOT WASHING HIS DISHES (horrible, stressful toughts). So let´s change the story, let´s focus in our business and learn trough those WONDERFUL AND ANNOYING mirrors life surrounds us.
Let´s change the world, one phrase at a time, meanwhile I´ll start my own work of being so selfish, and stop bothering about people talink about this or that, and start enyoing their company instead...I´ll keep you posted on my advances!
